Men and women cheat. It’s a fact of life, and most people will date someone who will ultimately have an affair with someone else. It can be a painful ordeal, even surprisingly for the party who committed the adultery.
After feeling the hurt and shedding too many tears, we begin to perform an autopsy and ask the biggest question: Why? A lot of scorned wives may be asking themselves: “Why do men cheat!?” It can be difficult to condense the reason to just a single excuse because there can be several factors for one-night stands, long-term affairs, or the hunt for someone on the side.
Here are nine common reasons why married men cheat:
Reason #1: Men are selfish.
The most common reason why men cheat boils down to one simple explanation: men are selfish. There are many men out there who cannot empathize with anybody. In other words, they only consider their feelings, think about their wants, and fail to realize the other person’s desires.
This is known as selfishness, and it’s certainly one of the causes for cheating. Since the cheating party does not even take their significant other or girlfriend into consideration, they will immediately have a fling once the opportunity arises.
Reason #2: Men like feeling wanted.
Let’s be honest: as relationships develop and mature, the goo goo ga ga stage comes to an end. The couple is no longer discovering anything new, and eventually each person takes the other for granted, including in bed. For most people, this stagnancy is unacceptable because they need to feel wanted.
So, once he discovers that another woman wants him – physically and emotionally – then he will home in on this woman like a guided missile. He finally feels wanted again.
Reason #3: He wants the relationship to be over.
When the relationship is (almost) over and coming to an end, some men just give up all pretenses and stop pretending to be faithful. There are two types of “it’s over” situations, according to Psychology Today:
- He wants to end the relationship, but he wants the other person to do the dirty work.
- He wants to end the relationship, but her prefers to wait to have another woman lined up.
Reason #4: The relationship can’t be saved.
Believe it or not, most relationships metastasize into dead sharks. Simply put, the feelings of love, excitement, adventure, and discovery are over. The relationship floats lifelessly in the water, and there are zero efforts of resuscitation. Both people know that the relationship has ended, but instead of being a couple of adults, he might decide to have some fun on the side by cheating.
Reason #5: Some men put no investment into a relationship.
For some men, a relationship might be something to do rather than start a life together, invest in commitment, and grow something unique. There isn’t any investment on his part. Since he isn’t investing in this relationship, he doesn’t feel committed, leading to the poor decision of infidelity.
Reason #6: Men are insecure.
Insecurity is a major problem many people face today. A paucity of confidence has never been more ubiquitous than it is today. It is this insecurity that can negatively impact relationships. The man might feel he isn’t good enough or he is inferior to his partner, so he wants to “downgrade” to another woman and enter into an even-keel relationship where both individuals are equal.
Reason #7: Some men want revenge.
Missed his birthday? Didn’t do the dishes? Got into a major argument? Cheated on him with another man? Although this is immature, revenge is a common reason for cheating. Unlike others who cheat, he is not clandestine about it – in fact, he wants his partner to know about it.
Reason #8: Some men feel unappreciated.
Let’s be honest: we can do a better job of appreciating our spouse, and they can improve their appreciation for our efforts. Indeed, the feeling of being unvalued and unappreciated can lead to infidelity. Though it is more common in women, men can still feel they’re taken for granted. Whether it is doing the cooking every night or working long hours every day for the household, men may want to have their value validated by seeking another woman to affirm his worth.
Reason #9: Some men are going through a mid-life crisis.
Pop culture likes to poke fun at men who have a mid-life crisis and go out to purchase a luxury vehicle, dye their hair a different colour, or take up an extreme sport. But this is something serious that afflicts all men, especially married men with children who believe that they may have wasted the best years of their lives, or don’t have too many years left.
Rather than buying a Porsche or going skydiving, some men may cheat. The fear of aging, the concern that they’re losing their youth, and the loss of sleep over the number of years left in their journey on this planet may prompt them to have an affair to rediscover passion and vitality.
If you have never been the victim of a cheating partner, then consider yourself lucky. Not everyone has been afforded the opportunity of being someone who has never cheated, either on them or when they were in another relationship. As you have learned, there are an abundance of reasons, and many partners will try to rationalize this behaviour. Whatever the excuse is, it is never pleasant and almost always ends up in divorce.
While it is not right, at least you now understand some of the possible reasons for this deplorable action. It’s more than just, “Well, he’s a bad person.”